Wednesday, February 6, 2008


Today has been a hard day. I miss my little guy so much.
Anabeli asked today if "Jacob come home soon?" I said as soon as we can.
Tonight that answer isn't good enough.
Once again, I have done everything I can by filing out new forms, sending them back, etc. and I feel so helpless. It is that old control thing again.
We were told by our agency that Central Authority should be issuing our previso soon. Then we will be allowed back in PGN.
I am thankful for that but I am also worried. Everyone that has been kicked out since 1-1-07 is going back in the next few days. There will be so many files and all of them will need to be reviewed. I am concerned about how long this will take.
My biggest fear is facing a long stay again in PGN. The strength that I gained with Anabeli's long wait is trying to dwindle away.
My prayer tonight is that God will keep his hand on my little guy and all the other children caught up in this mess.

What is really amazing is as I have worried today God has reminded me of the verses below. Each one of these I have used when I taught Children's Church. We worked very hard at memorizing them about four years ago and God brought them back to me today.

I am giving my worries to God tonight. I am really tired and want a good night's sleep. Since He will be up all night I am sure He can handle them for me. :)

"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect." Psalm 18:32

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8


Amy said...

I am praying for you Cindi and I am right here with you in the middle of the painful wait. Sometimes I wonder why I signed myself up for this... but then when I remember the precious children who are waiting too I know that if we were not willing to endure this pain then their lives would be filled with it. Hang in there, God hears you... and he's working. (((HUGS))) Amy

Anonymous said...

Cindi, I hope today your world is a little bit brighter than it was last night. I'm sorry you've been so low. The lack of control in adoption is what made me feel like I was losing it (my mind that is) countless times through our process with Anna. It's so much harder than it sounds to just hand it over to God. Hang in there. DebbieT