MAMA'S SICK

Amy and anyone else on pins and needles,
Mama is sick. Real sick.
I had a cold and sinus infection two weeks ago that knocked it out of me even with antibiotics and a short round of Prednisone.
I have been exceptionally tired and feeling rather overwhelmed I just fall into bed and try and stay awake during the day.
All in all we are doing great at surviving and Jake is still improving but I am crazy from feeling so miserable.
By the end of the week the "cold" was coming back on but I thought I could beat it. Fast forward to yesterday when I had a major asthma attack. It started at around 4:00 pm and we were in the ER until about 10:30 trying to get everything under control.
The cold is really the sinus infection that did not clear up like I had thought and it has triggered really nasty breathing issues.
After being blasted with breathing treatments and injection of steroids I left. Now I am trying to keep things under control while tapering off the Prednisone. I have one massive headache from my body coming off all the injections last night.
So I am armed with several medications to control this mess and resting now that Jake is napping.
I will be back soon.
I have tons of pictures. Today was the first day of preschool for M and A and it was so much fun for them.
I will get back soon. I promise. With lots of pictures too!

POSTING

I am trying to post pictures tonight but blogspot will not let me. So stayed tuned....

RACIAL DIVERSITY

Marvin just told me about his "new best friend" at church.
"He is cool mom. He doesn't look like you. He doesn't look like me. Well he sorta looks like me. "
I had to laugh. His best friend is a Korean adoptee.
It made me think about our church. We have Caucasians, African Americans, Hispanic and biracial families attending.
We have adoptees from Guatemala (mine), Japan, Korea and a few children in the US foster care system.
It is so cool to have such racial diversity worshipping together. One thing that concerned me about my Guatlings was if they would feel out of place with their "brown biscuit skin".
When you go to church and see so many different nationalities represented how could you even begin to feel out of place?
I thank God for the opportunity to attend such a diverse church that understands the meaning of adoption and helping others.

TRYIN TO GET THROUGH

OK This is definitely a keepin it real post.
For many reasons I am at my wits end.
I have had an exceptionally busy week this week so in turn I am really tired. We had agreed to stay home tonight but at about 5:00 Blake got antsy and wanted to go to Columbus. He left his hat at Longhorn Restaurant on Thursday night after we had gone down to buy a used VW for Ann. By the way it is a nice car.
This stupid hat came from Jamaica and it is a baseball hat that says Jamaica. We paid maybe 15.00 for this hat about five years ago and we have been all over Central Ohio because he keeps leaving it places.
Anyway Sam wanted to babysit and make a little money. Fine but I don't think he is ready for all three little guys even if Jesse and a friend were here if he needed help so we took Jake.
Man that kid was wound. He had a ball and so did we. We went to P.F. Changs for supper and I missed the little spicy mark by my Pepper Steak so my stomach was on fire.
On the way home I received a call for Kierstan and Ann (dumb and dumber) saying Jesse and Aaron were "jerks". Deal with that over the phone. Boys get downstairs and don't be so loud. Marvin and Anabeli are trying to sleep. Leave your sister and her friends alone. Ann go into the family room and behave, By the time we get home 20 minutes later Matt is the only one in the family room.
Get home and Matt (who doesn't live here although he thinks he does) says on his way out, "Ann you better come talk to your mom."
I think it is over the phone call and dismiss it BUT a few seconds later here comes dumb and dumber with most of their hair pulled up in the back, EXCEPT for a neon pink streak through both heads of hair.
This is so dumb. Ann says "It is just semi permanent it will wash out in a few weeks." I cannot believe this.
This kid doesn't usually do something like this. I don't know what ever caused them to do this. Kierstan has not even highlighted her hair before. It is a beautiful light blonde hair with natural highlights.
I know it is not that big of a deal but come on. This is the straw that broke the camel's back. What was she thinking?????
So I am going to bed. Hopefully by Sunday morning I will not want to break her little neck. This would be easier to cope with if I had not been so busy this week and we still went and bought the car on Thursday which threw me way further behind.

God I didn't pray for patience this week. Why do I feel like I did?????

MY GUY IS SICK

Jake is miserable. He has a terrible cold brewing and I am afraid an ear infection too. He is also drooling nonstop.

Unfortunately he is a very hyper sicky.

He wants to lay on the bed and roll into me. We can't stand, we can't go into another room. Each time I move I get protests. The only way he is happy is if I am beside him rubbing his tummy softly.

I can't wait for daddy to get home and check his ears and throat. At least then I will

know.
Mom, please don't take my picture. Put down the camera.

Mom stop it. You are going to make me look silly.

Notice the scab on the nose? He managed to fall at church and give his little nose a rug burn. Only my little scruffy boy could take on that challenge and win.

OK If I hold still will you put up the dumb camera for a while? I am sick.

My eye is swollen and I feel bad.

Can't you leave me alone?

My three Guatlings on a happier day.

DIAPERS ON, DIAPERS OFF

OK someone tell me how in the world I am supposed to keep a diaper on this kid?????
None of the others were as bad as he is. He can slither out of his PJs and most other pants as quick as you can say, "Jake No, No." and have his diaper ripped off too.
It is driving me crazy. He thinks it is funny but I am sick of finding little "puddles" from the moments between diaper off, diaper on.
Today while his developmental social worker was here he managed to slither out of his shorts and diaper before we even noticed!!!! Interestingly enough there is nothing on all the developmental charts for this other than "tries to assist in dressing self." Nothing about enjoying undressing self to be butt naked!
This kid. I love him more and more each day.

HERE I SIT

Here I sit in my ofice looking at at a huge mess made by a two year old. Crayons were dumped. Papers scattered. Trash can turned over.
I follow the trail into our bathroom. A load of dirty laundry on its way into the laundry room is turned over. Bath toys are thrown everywhere.
Into the bedroom where I trip over more toys. Find an empty candy box (Uh NO). And then find a two year old ripping up the telephone book with a big smile on his face.
I should be upset but rather I rush over and pick him up giving him a big hug.
Now I have snot on my clothes and in my hair along with the huge mess to clean up.
But.....
I DONT CARE!!!!!!
Because on top of the sticky, icky mess everywhere I have a normal two year old boy behind it all.

Thank you God for this precious child who has turned my world upset down. I LOVE IT!
P.S. Thanks for the mess too it reminds me of just how far he has come in eight weeks!

MARVIN

Marvin has been full of information today. This boy is changing so much. He is starting to act more like a little boy with a mischievous grin and wry sense of humor.

At lunch he asked what we were having for supper. I said, "I don't know I need to go check the freezer. Is there something that sounds good to you?"

"Yeah. I want cheese rats-knees-o-lee and that stinky bread you make in the oven."

Now I know the stinky bread is garlic bread his new favorite but the other thing had me stumped. I asked him to repeat it several times and it sounded the same way each time.

Finally I figured out what we are having for supper salad, garlic bread and CHEESE RAVIOLI!!!

Yesterday was my second day of teaching worship and I am loving it. We talked about Adam and Eve and how God makes us all different but we are also special in our own way.

To prove this every child received a black rock they needed to look at and tell what made their rock so special. It was a great object lesson and the kids were able to keep the rock.

Marvin's was on the floor today and he saw and and picked up his "special rock". He told me how much he liked it etc.

So I asked him why he got the rock.

"I don't know."

"Well what did I tell you about the rock? What was our story about? How is that rock like you? blah blah blah."

All the questions received the same answer. "I don't know."

Finally he got bored and said to me. "Mom I don't know. You should know. You were the teacher. You gave it to me. "

Next week we will work on listening better to the meaning of the story. :) :)

Hurricane Ike

To all of my friends in the wake of Hurricane Ike,
Please know I am praying for you and your families over the next few days. I am sure most of you are busy getting out of the way.
Hang in there and update as soon as you can.

REMEMBER LESTER?

Oh man. I can't believe this. It has been so very dry in Ohio.
Last night I was sitting on the bed after posting and saw Lester Jr. run through the bedroom.
I have got to admit this was better than the spring time when I stood on the side of the bathtub FOREVER.
I just screamed at Blake. His response was immediate and very clear. "Oh no. We ARE NOT going to do this again. I refuse to stay up all night while you wait for the mouse trap to click. Go to sleep."
I promised not to stand on the tub or scream if he gathered all the traps hidden under the bed and reset them.
This man has got to be the most patient man in the world.
So Lester Jr. will hopefully meet his doom soon. Every morning now I have to get up and set off about 10 traps before Jake gets up then Blake needs to reset them before bedtime.
The only thing I dislike about my wonderful home is the woods behind me (ours) and the fields all around us.
He promised on Wednesday he would reset all the basement traps, etc. If this man would just let me use DECON he wouldn't be up all night. :)
I have been watching tonight but haven't seen him yet......
LESTER JR YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED!!!!

MONDAY- EMBASSY APPOINTMENT

Sorry guys. I am really trying to fit this in but we are going to sooooo many doctor's appointments.
Monday morning-
We made it to the Embassy and stood in the line to go through security.
As I packed the diaper bag earlier, I threw in four toys without thinking.
Jake enjoyed being passed between the two of us and really did not like the blanket around him at all as we waited outside the barred doors. He did have a thin jacket on but he also had a wet cough and I felt he needed the blanket up close to his head. He didn't agree and spent most of his time trying to pull it off.
What was sad was that even if he didn't want it on, he didn't have the motor skills to grab the blanket and pull it off. Worse yet, if he would shake his head to try and cause it to fall off his eyes would start rolling around and he would get dizzy.
Finally I gave in. The country's traditions were not as important as keeping this little guy happy and stable.
Our time came from security. Jake's blanket and diaper bag went through BUT for the first time I realized of the four toys, three were electronic and could not go in with us. UGH. Why didn't I check this? To be truthful though I wasn't all that upset. He just didn't seem to have it together enough to care about the toys anyway.
We quickly went into the room and found seats and Henry jumped right into line for us. Now our appointment was 7:15 and we were #5 so I thought at least this would go quickly and I could go back to the hotel and cry some more.
Number 1 was not called until 8:30!!!! I guess there were some computer issues. So right off the bat we had sat for one hour.
Jake did very well for this first hour playing with my hair. Then it got ugly and I was never so happy to see a child get the wigglys. He wanted to sit in a chair of his own and I gave him the only toy we could bring in, a plastic toy car. He took great pride in running it off the side of the chair. We would pick it up and hand it back with a smile.
He needed a diaper change so we went and took care of that and refilled his bottle with the water cooler water.
Henry had finally returned with our paperwork and asked for our money. We gave him the cash and he and Blake went up to pay our fees. That took about 10 minutes.
While they were gone I looked around at the other children. We were Number 5 of six children, two babies, Jake and three other toddlers.
Baby 1 somehow managed to sleep through this whole thing. Baby 2 played on her mommy's lap. She was 9 months old. As I watched her play I realized most of her skills were so much better than Jake and she was a year younger.
If you know this part of the procedure you know as many as 50- kids can be seen in one morning. Where are the other 44? Who is loving and caring for them?

God I know you are going to perform a miracle in Jake's life. I just don't know when and how.

I also met a "Help Me Grow" case manager who was adopting her second son. Her son was Jake's age and she thought he was delayed "a lot". At least he was sitting upright on his own and could almost walk.

She asked how old Jake was and I said almost two. Her mouth dropped but she did a great recovery. She said she thought he was about 10 months old. Nope.

By this time Blake came back and we sat in silence. Jake sat on my lap.

She went on to ask the usual questions. How long was our wait? Was he orphanage or foster home? Was he given any sort of therapies while in foster care?

I was polite but inside I was screaming. "Look lady it is obvious something isn't quite right here. If I could have stopped it, I would have. Let me out of here."

I just felt the eyes of all the other parents in the room staring and shaking their heads in shock and pity.

"Don't pity us. We are a family and that is all that matters. Don't look at us. We are going to be all right. Don't pity us. God has a special miracle for this little boy. God has a special plan for this little life. I want to cry again. I want to leave all these stares behind me and just lay on the bed with my little guy and hold his sweet little hands. God where are you? I feel you but my insides are churning. I feel dizzy from confusion. I feel you telling me it will be all right but it feels so small and this is so big. Please let me feel again the strength of last night. Please help me. Please don't leave me here by myself. Please."

As I was sitting there with all this going through my mind, I realized Jake was fussing. Now that was a good sign. S and M told me he never fussed one time. My thought was he knew it wouldn't do him any good.
We got up and walked to the back of the area. As I rocked him in my arms he smiled. A smile I longed to see. I could see God's love and contentment in those eyes. I could once again feel His presence. It was so strong I thought I would buckle under the feeling. He was there standing not beside me but in me. Holding me just as I held Jake. God was making me feel content just as I had Jake.

God was telling me with a rush of His spirit that things will be all right and I need to quit worrying. Easier said than done even with such a presence. I tried. I really, really did. Although I felt better I was still concerned.

Concern is still a feeling I have even now. Concern not fright or unbelief. Concern for what our son was facing in his future. Concern that as his mother, I might not be up to what would be further on down the road.

Blake brought a chair over to the corner for me to sit on but it didn't matter. My baby boy was in my arms and to me he wasn't heavy. He was perfect.

I continued to pray and bask in this feeling of love God provided for me.

All of a sudden, Blake said, "They called our name." It was time to find out what to do. The major problem was I didn't know what answers we were looking for and how that would change anything.

Evidently the credit card machine had gone down so we had moved to #3 in line while the others waited on approvals. I was so happy we brought cash. :)

Couple 1 went into the "room" and came back out in about three minutes. So did couple 2.
The use of the word "room" is pushing it. This room consisted of two chairs that backed up into the door that luckily opened out, a plate glass window in front of the chairs and then one chair for the Embassy appointment and another door.

He asked immediately for our tax returns. He looked over them and then handed them back.

The time had come. I swallowed hard and started to explain our problem. How do we correct this to make sure other people don't have this problem. What do we do?

I saw the man's facial expression change while I explained what had happened. He looked so caring.

He told us that he couldn't help us. It was his job to look at our taxes only and make sure we could financially care for the child.

Then he said, "Off the record, you need to get this child to a doctor immediately here in Guatemala. Please tell the lady at your next stop what you told me. Good luck and congratulations."

All together our time with him was about 10 minutes. We still weren't sure exactly what to do.

Henry came up to us and said, "Ms. Facilitator doesn't want you to tell the Embassy about the offer to find him a new home. "

"Did you just talk to her? "

"No but I am repeating what S said she told her last night and she also said we are to go straight to the doctor after this appointment."

I just stood there. The next person called our name. This Embassy worker was fantastic.

In order to prevent confusion in our ongoing work with the Department of State to keep this from happening to someone else, details will be limited.

We pleaded our case again and this time I told them about the "disruption" in adoption comment.

She then explained that was "human trafficking" and would be a federal offense. Also she asked for our agencies name. I also told her the last name of our facilitator was known to the DOS because her sister just got out of prison for the same thing. (If you are familiar with Guatemala adoptions you know who this is. If you don't go to guatadopt.com and look through the news section.)

She suggested if that was even a thought we needed to not say a word until Tuesday evening when we picked up our paperwork and in the meantime get him to a doctor.

Did we swear the information in the file was true to the best of our ability? UMMMMM. Ummmm. Stare at her with a blank stare on both our faces. Finally not knowing what to say I said, "Our information and paperwork is 100% true so I will swear to that." She asked Blake if that was his answer to and he said "yes".

She confirmed Jake was Jake by looking at his passport and his beautiful sleeping face and then gave a very sincere apology for what our son had been through and wished us the best of luck.

We were done. Legally in the sight of the Guatemalan and US governments Jake was ours and we were his. No one could change that. His life was now in our hands.

When we stepped away Henry quickly whisked us away to the doctor's office. They were waiting.

UPDATE TONIGHT!

This is for all of you who keep bugging me---- keep on or it will never get done! :)
I have been swamped but I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope I am heading down the right tunnel.
Tonight I will post more of the story of Jake.
Also he wants to post either tonight or tomorrow.
My baby is so cool! He has learned so much in the last seven weeks. I am so proud. He is just the cutest and cuddliest guy I have ever met.
So he will share his progress. Sometime between 10 and midnight we will both try and blog.
Thanks so being so patient. Never in a million years would I have dreamed this would be my life. Never in a million years would I trade even one day of it either.