THE PARTY

Well we are about 10 days or so from graduation and the party and it is getting harder each day.

Today I was reminiscing with Ann about the day she was born. She is still so much the same but so different. At least the Nuk pacifier is gone!!!

Because she graduated in a nontraditional setting she doesn't have "school colors". We found a beautiful mossy green dress a few months ago that was beautiful on her and we have decided to work with that.

I am not very organized right now so we decided to have a the party at a place here in town. I didn't want to try and think this through on my own. How sad is that?

After much discussion (mostly me begging her to tell me what she wants) we settled on hamburgers, hot dogs, chips and salads, a chocolate fountain with lots of goodies and cheesecake.

Ann doesn't eat cake but loves cheesecake. We ordered it today from a friend of ours who owns a candy shop. So many flavors to choose from but we settled on "plain", banana split, chocolate, buckeye and white chocolate/strawberry. Of course that could change at any moment.

Moss green napkins, butter cream tablecloths and a small candle with graduation confetti will be used. I have also a small floral arrangement for the food table with fresh flowers in greens and ivory.

Invitations have gone out and things are moving right along.

Everyone has new clothes. The little guys have matching outfits.

Last weekend it dawned on me that my wardrobe now consists of jeans, shorts and t shirts. I have a pair of brown capris for church on Sunday during the summer that I wear with one of three matching shirts.

How pathetic is that???? So Sunday we went shopping for her a dress for the new boyfriends graduation and something for me to wear. It was painful. I HATE to buy clothes. That is so odd. Before children I loved to shop.

The party is June 6 with graduation June 7. I am dreading this so much. She keeps telling me she has graduated but I say not until the 7th! If you are there, look me up. I will be the mother crying hysterically. :)

It's 11:15 PM. I have worked hard today. Add to the usual mommy stuff a dentist appointment for Marvin, a trip to school to pick up Sam with a "strange" rash, the usual PT, Jesse's "supervised" driving, four loads of laundry just this evening and a printer that did not want to work with two grocery trips and you have one tired mommy.

But beside me is the sweetest little guy who is FINALLY asleep. He is leaning into me as he sleeps so sweetly.

I am tired but I am the happiest mommy in the world right now. I don't care if I get to sleep at all. I just want to watch him sleep. :)

NO MORE BA-BA

It has definitely been a whiny weekend here.

We had so much fun relaxing, enjoying extended family and just having fun but there was a small cloud hanging over Jake's head.

Summer is here and the weather is warming up. We have been hanging outside a lot!! Bikes and swings, slides and sidewalk chalk, "water squirters" and pails of water for "painting" are now the norm. It is so beautiful with all the greenery. We are loving the warm weather.

We went to the speech therapist on Wednesday. A good amount of the facial muscles on Jake's right side do not work. The therapist believes this was due to his neglect and being left to lay in a crib on that side of his face.

They want him to stretch and strengthen the muscles. The bottle had to go.

We decided to wait until Friday so that we would all be half way rested.

Friday morning I explained no more babas and we symbolically threw one in the trash. At nap time he was digging through the trash for it.

My heart was broken.

The therapist wants us to use Nuby cups so I bought a few and gave him his milk in that. He wasn't happy but what can I say? It needs to be done.

We only had one night of crying at bedtime. YEAH!

He is starting to adjust but occasionally asks for a baba when I hand him a cup.

On a brighter note, gum is also to be chewed for at least 30 minutes a day. This kid is thrilled. He will chew a piece of gum for at least two hours after nap. He hasn't swallowed it or left it on the floor. He is getting so big. At this rate his muscles should strength at a rapid pace.

WHAT TO DO ABOUT JAKE

Over the past 10 months Blake and I have had many conversations about "what to do about Jake." Do we allow this treatment? Do we test of this or that? Do we push harder? Are we pushing too hard?

Today's conversation was another "what to do about Jake". By 3 pm Jake had had three time outs at home and was really in big trouble for trying to bite the beloved Miss Laurie at therapy today.

He had a total of four tantrums today that ended in him throwing himself on the floor and me walking off. The three time outs all came after many warnings that had something to do with not touching something or another. Sitting on the edge of the bathtub for trying to hold Marvin's head under water. Plus at least 10 usual "lip perches". This kid could perch a bird on his lip.

"What to do about Jake?" The same thing every parent wonders when they have an active two year old.

YEAH!!!!!

Killer of a Day

Well we are in between appointments right now.
Jake is upstairs screaming, "no, no, no" because he doesn't want to take a nap.
The other two are laying quietly on our bed to watch Brainy Baby Spanish. Yeah I know it is not the best thing since it is so basic but I figure at least I am trying to work on their native language. I need to find something more suited for their ages that teaches Spanish. So I will just add that to the bottom of the "I gotta do" list. There that brings it up to only 100,000 things to do before the end of May. :)
Today Jake had OT and then to Help Me Grow for a repeat ELAP.
OT was all right but Ann is working so M and A had to go along. Drives me nuts to take everyone to something like that.
Last night I charged the DSs' but.... of course I forgot to turn on the light switch that controls the plug. So each got about a 40 minute charge.
That gave out at the end of OT and it was all down hill from there.
The whining and the fussing and the dirty looks (and that was just from me) was about more than I could handle.
ELAP was very successful and Nikki believes it shows HUGE improvement from last time, about six months ago. It will be score this week and we will meet again in two weeks.
I am so proud of the little guy. He tries so hard.
As we passed Daddy's office he said, "go daddy." We just had to stop in and say hi. Daddy was almost ready for lunch so we chilled in the car and off to Arbys. I don't like Arbys so it was a great place for me, NO temptation.
Took daddy back to work after a quick lunch and came home.
Ann and I need to leave in about 45 minutes to go wrap up the details for the graduation party. Still having a hard time with that one.
Then later this evening we are making a trip to Columbus to buy the remaining things we need for the party. Sometimes I wish we lived in a bigger city. Most of the time I am glad we don't.
She also wants to take me to her favorite restaurant, Mongolian Barbecue (?). I have not been there and she goes a lot with friends so I am excited about trying something new. I am also glad lunch wasn't a threat for the old diet.
So today I will have about 4 hours at home total as opposed to 16. Not much getting done today at home but a successful day thanks to Jake's motivation and Ann wanting to spend time with mom. I LOVE IT!

RACISM REARS ITS UGLY HEAD

RACIAL VENTING--- CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK

I know adoption is not for everyone. I know international adoption is probably for even less families.

I know people are racist. I know the most challenged amongst us have problems keeping their mouths shut.

But come on. To say something mean about a child?? Give me a break. Or should I say, "I almost gave someone else a break today."

If you feel the need to make a racial slur say it about me and not my child or better yet keep your mouth shut.

Today Jake had an appointment with the orthopedic for a fitting for ankle braces. Now we arrive everywhere we can at least 10 minutes early to give him a chance to walk at his own speed. It is our goal to let him do as much as he can on his own. If that means leaving early so be it.

He can walk but he still has a Frankenstein walk along with ataxia. He is so much improved but there is room for more improvement in time.

When we arrived at the clinic I pulled in to a parking spot near the front. The space next to us was empty. A woman pulls up and parks her van next to us and looks less than happy.

We sat in the car while Jake finished his kid's meal then it was time to go. As I was getting him out of the car this woman comes up and start accusing me of pushing the car door into her van. Since I have a huge SUV I am very careful to watch this.

I explained to her in a nice way that there was at least a half inch between the cars and I apologized that she thought I had hit her car.

She then pushed my SUV door into me while I was trying to get Jake out of the car! Hello?

I had him unstrapped but not out so I said, "If you give me just a second we will be out of your way."

She pushed the door into me again and got in her car still raising her voice that I had dented her car.

Then she just sat there.

I got Jake out and I held him to get away from her before I put him down. I sat him down and took his hand then and we started to walk.

She was still carrying on and said something along the lines of "That lady threw her door into my car. The woman with that "Mex---- Reta--".

My blood boiled. I wanted to rip her out of that car through the window and beat her up. No kidding. That turn the other cheek stuff in the Bible probably didn't mean when someone insults your child or at least that was my reasoning.

Yeah I know it does but it is nice to wish it didn't.

What if he had been old enough to know what she meant? What if the other kids would have been with me? Are you nuts? He is a little boy that doesn't know the meaning of the word racism.

If someone will play with him he is happy. Skin color doesn't matter to him. Disability or lack of doesn't matter to him. He is happy to play with anyone.

I ended up not saying a word to the lady. I really didn't want to be arrested today for beating up someone in the clinic parking lot.

I was also determined not to let it ruin our day. So we just went along and walked slowly into the clinic.

The funniest thing was after the altercation in the parking lot I have two people tell me how improved Jake was and that I am a good mom.

We didn't ask for either compliment!! God just sent them along to brighten a day that could have been horrible.

God always seems to know the best time to send the best people. :) I wish he could just sew some people's mouths shut.

As you can see I still have some work to do on forgiveness.

BANISHING THE BUTS

The Buts are back. It is time to banish them. Great except the two year old now really likes the word--- BUT.

A big pet peeve of mine is the word but.... followed by a child's reasoning. "Don't give me a but," is directed quite a bit to Marvin.

We had banished the buts a few months ago and today they came back.

"Please turn down the TV. Your sister isn't up yet."
"But I already did."

"Come and eat breakfast now."
"But I am not ready to eat right now."

"It is time to get dressed today. Let's check the weather."
"But I am not in the mood to get dressed."

So once again I have banished the buts. My lecture was great. My deliverance was great. Both M and A listened intently. After feeling I had stressed the point enough I stopped and they walked away. I had a smug look on my face.

Jake started to get out his blocks. I said, "Let's get dressed before we get those out."

He looked at me with those big eyes and said, "but no." Ignore it. He doesn't understand. Don't make a big deal of it. It will get old.

Evidently it is the word of the week. UGH. Every answer has but in front of it.

Marvin came into the kitchen so confused a few minutes ago and I asked him what was wrong.

"Jake butted me again mom. Tell him that is not a nice word."

So today we have PT/OT, orthopedics, doctor's visit and a quick trip to the grocery store while we are out. I am 100% positive "but" will be there too.

"Jake let's go find your shoes."
"But no. Gone."

I wish but was gone too.

BABY BOY TO YOUNG MAN

I am sitting in the office listening quietly to the noise in the basement rec room.

Jesse has three friends over for a sleep over tonight. The noise is insane. Video games are blaring. They are screaming to be heard over the games. And the smell.....

***Now before I go on I have got to say Blake says my nose is out of touch with reality. I smell phantom smells all the time and he has spent lots of time trying to help me find offending odors.

The smell in the basement now is a mixture of Axe body wash, several kinds I think, just plain boy and potato chips. (See I told you I have weird nose.)

Tonight will be filled with video games, horror movies, pranks and just relaxing.

Pancakes will be required for breakfast before everyone leaves.

It seems like yesterday Jesse was a colicky baby who made a different kind of noise. He cried nonstop, day and night, 24/7, 365 days... get the picture???

But with the passage of time that screaming maniac has turned into a young man, three inches taller than mom and arms of steel.

His dimples are still the same. His eyes are still steel blue like his dads. Jesse is Blake made over in personality. They are so much alike. I laugh sometimes when I go into a room and they are watching TV together. They have their heads tilted alike and same facial expressions.

His voice is deep now but still melts my heart when he says, "Love ya mom."

Jesse is also a young man of principles. He will not be swayed. While others his age are smoking, drinking or out causing problems, Jesse is living a life to be proud of. It is my prayer he continues too!

At 2 AM tomorrow morning when I have had enough of the noise and feel as if my ears are overloaded, I hope I can remember just how special he is!

We love you Jesse.