DISOBEDIENCE

Well where do I begin?

When our children are disobedient we punish them. Lately though with the older ones we have been letting the disobedience punish on its own.

You know what I am talking about. You didn't listen, you did this and now that this has happened you will pay the consequences.

Unfortunately today it was MY time to pay up. I guess in my heart I didn't consider what I was doing as disobedience until I was praying while driving to the grocery store. We can rationalize anything if we try hard enough.

Since Jake has had his eyes fixedc we have seen miraculous changes. More on this in tomorrow's post. On the down side, with the extra confidence comes extra impulse. Sam was also this way. He is so much like Sam except they were 10 years apart.

Today was "rescue me" day. He jumped off some steps today and didn't have a smooth landing. He tried to climb out of the bathtub and hurt his leg. He has a bruise on his chin from running too fast. He had to have a bath because he was covered in my iced tea due to a break down and going limp.

None of this would have happened a week ago people. I am so happy. You have no idea. I didn't know I could be this happy over these type of problems.

The one thing that has come to roost was I am 10 years older than I was with a two year old Sam. This is hard work. Impulsiveness with Sam was hard to deal with. You need to watch impulsive children closer.

So today I was praying while we were running errands. I was thanking God for the huge improvement in Jake. In 7 months we have gone from a lump of child to a sweet walking boy. I was also expressing to God my concerns. I am 10 years older. I have more kids. I am tired easier. on and on.

When I stopped talking God just poured it on.

You have put yourself in this situation.

Excuse me????? We asked YOU about adopting. We prayed for guidance. Why is this my fault?

You aren't listening.

Yes I am.

No you are not and now you will pay for it.

Um I think I don't understand.

Remember back over a year ago when I laid it upon your heart to lose weight? Remember the struggle you gave? Remember when you always had an excuse?

OK My first response was no I didn't?

But then many times I made an excuse came to mind.

1- I will lose weight after I get through the home study visit and the dossier. You know I eat when I am nervous.

2- I am going to Hawaii. Can't this wait until I get back?

3- As soon as we go into PGN I will start. PGN is stressful.

4 How can you expect I will be able to lose weight and keep it off through the holidays?

5- PGN kicked us out. I promise I will do something when we get this all done.

6- I am trying YOU aren't helping. (So I lied too.)

7- I can't possibly lose weight on a cruise.

8- Lord. Jake is a mess. This is gonna be really hard. Help me and please give me a break on the eating,

9- One month ago- Yeah Yeah. Can we wait until it is warm enough for me to walk outside for exercise?


TODAY- Lord why am I so tired?

He was so blunt.

Because you are too fat. We could have corrected this but you weren't willing. Now you must face the consequences.

Yes Lord I understand and starting right now I plan on doing something about this.
Right now I am giving it all back to you. Right now this minute I am going to trust you for the help I need.

So disobedience is not good. At the time, disobedience was not what I had in mind. I was just trying to delay things until they were convenient.

Now I see my convenience caused me to disobey. The same thing I tell me kids.

DISOBEDIENCE IS NOTHING MORE THAN NOT FULLY TRUSTING GOD TO HANDLE OUR LIVES. IT CAN ONLY OCCUR WHEN WE PUT OUR OWN THOUGHTS, OPINIONS AND ATTITUDES BEFORE OUR GOD.

Ugg. It is a good thing God loves us enough to help us get up when we fall and start again. I am willing to follow and do what I should have done a year ago. But the sad thing is I wasted a year of healthy living and peace that comes from complete obedience.