My answer is a flat NO.
It is true that Jake has had his fair share, and then some, of troubles. But when I look at him, the situation that surrounded his homecoming and God's divine work I can only praise Him for what He has done.
Was I angry with the people involved? YOU BET. Am I working to correct it? YOU BETCHA. I don't want anyone to go through what we have been through unless they are fully aware of the situation.
Now would we have changed our minds if we knew about Jake's problems? No. God gave us him and he was our son long before we went to pick him up. We would have liked to have had more time to plan.
I have learned a "game plan" is not always needed when we let the Master hold the map our of lives. ---- HUGE, HUGE lesson for me to learn!
God's strength and His assurance that Jake was our son is what got us through.
Blake and I were talking last night about this. Jake was wound and wouldn't sleep at all until about midnight and we watched him romp around our bedroom.
God gave us Jake. People got in the way for His will for us and Jake. But in the end God's perfect will always wins out.
Have the last eight months been hard? Incredibly and I am not naive. I know there are many rough spots still to come. But I stand firm that God will see us through.
I would not trade a minute of our time together.
I would much rather our son did not have to suffer all that has come his way. I would much rather we would have met under better circumstances and his homecoming not be filled with uncertainty.
But if it meant in any way we would have missed out on the blessings, strength and love the Lord provided our family and those around us, I wouldn't change a thing.
So many people have asked about Jake's story and I have been able to share not only his story but God's sustaining power through a difficult situation.
We have met and worked with some outstanding people throughout the last few months.
But one thing I have now is sympathy. I know what it is like to have a child that needs special care. I know the exhausting days. I know the long scary nights. I have walked that road. I have lived the uncertainty.
We both know what it is like to sit in the chair and be the parent rather than the doctor. It has made Blake a better doctor. He has always been kind and compassionate but I see something more. I see a look of "been there done that."
I know how it feels when people look at you in shock and pity. And yes I know and 100% fully understand what the "dignity" of life is all about. I know the joys of parenting a child with needs and watching as small changes are made. I know the surprise that comes from waking up one day and seeing your child make a huge step in maturity.
I know what it is like to hold a child and love that child unconditionally regardless of the issues at hand or the issues you will face. I know what it is like to see a big smile and be so proud of your kid! I know what it is like to have a few stolen moments in the middle of a dark night. Nothing is sweeter than having him up against me and feel his chest rise and fall with his breathing.
Am I angry with God? No way. I am thankful for this experience. I wish my guy hadn't had all this happen to him but I am so thankful God was able to keep him safe and bring him to us.
When I see Marvin and Jake wrestling on the floor and hear the laughter I can only smile. Each one of our children have been touched by his little life.
He is a fighter. God has give him the strength to go on and survive. He has a special story that brings hope to those who hear it. He has a special plan. At this time only God knows what it is. I can't wait to see how it grows over the years.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to bring you hope and a future."
We have plans for our six children. We have hopes and dreams. But most of all we know God has plans for them. His plans are so much better than our plans could ever hope to be.