Well I drove myself to the eye doctor this morning to get released to drive again.
Blake finds that irritating but oh well.
I am much better. I still have some visual issues he felt would eventually go away but I am well enough to drive again.
Praise God for taking care of this for me. You have no idea how painful the four days were. I cannot even begin to express how miserable I was. But it is all in the past now. God is good.
We are leaving tomorrow for Florida!!! We are all rushing around trying our best to get everything done. Excitement is building.
Our house has Wi Fi so stay turned to pictures from the last two weeks and vacation.
Kya Blu and Jagger too;
I can't wait to meet you in person!!! It bummed me out to think we might not be able to spend time with you.
I love the Disney pictures mom has been posting. You guys are just too cool.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
OFF FOR A WHILE
I will be off line for a while. I am not really sure how long.
Got up on Saturday morning with a lot of pain in my eye. Thought something was in it. Went to ER to fine out it was infected.
The pain was horrible all weekend long. Went to the eye doctor this morning and I now have a blister on the cornea. Thank goodness for Vicodin and Loratab.
What does this mean? Who knows. The good news is that it will eventually go away.
The possibility of shingles in the eye is there but as long as I don't get anymore sores they think it is just a one time thing.
The next 36 hours should tell the tale.
We are supposed to leave for Florida at 2:30 PM Friday.
As of right now I am still in pain and to see fine out of me left eye and doubly, shadowy and blurry out of the right.
We shall see. If we go we go. If we don't, we don't. Sure they will be disappointed but in the end it will all work out the way it should.
Got up on Saturday morning with a lot of pain in my eye. Thought something was in it. Went to ER to fine out it was infected.
The pain was horrible all weekend long. Went to the eye doctor this morning and I now have a blister on the cornea. Thank goodness for Vicodin and Loratab.
What does this mean? Who knows. The good news is that it will eventually go away.
The possibility of shingles in the eye is there but as long as I don't get anymore sores they think it is just a one time thing.
The next 36 hours should tell the tale.
We are supposed to leave for Florida at 2:30 PM Friday.
As of right now I am still in pain and to see fine out of me left eye and doubly, shadowy and blurry out of the right.
We shall see. If we go we go. If we don't, we don't. Sure they will be disappointed but in the end it will all work out the way it should.
Friday, March 13, 2009
ANGRY AT GOD?
I have had several people ask me if I am angry with God for what Jake has been through.
My answer is a flat NO.
It is true that Jake has had his fair share, and then some, of troubles. But when I look at him, the situation that surrounded his homecoming and God's divine work I can only praise Him for what He has done.
Was I angry with the people involved? YOU BET. Am I working to correct it? YOU BETCHA. I don't want anyone to go through what we have been through unless they are fully aware of the situation.
Now would we have changed our minds if we knew about Jake's problems? No. God gave us him and he was our son long before we went to pick him up. We would have liked to have had more time to plan.
I have learned a "game plan" is not always needed when we let the Master hold the map our of lives. ---- HUGE, HUGE lesson for me to learn!
God's strength and His assurance that Jake was our son is what got us through.
Blake and I were talking last night about this. Jake was wound and wouldn't sleep at all until about midnight and we watched him romp around our bedroom.
God gave us Jake. People got in the way for His will for us and Jake. But in the end God's perfect will always wins out.
Have the last eight months been hard? Incredibly and I am not naive. I know there are many rough spots still to come. But I stand firm that God will see us through.
I would not trade a minute of our time together.
I would much rather our son did not have to suffer all that has come his way. I would much rather we would have met under better circumstances and his homecoming not be filled with uncertainty.
But if it meant in any way we would have missed out on the blessings, strength and love the Lord provided our family and those around us, I wouldn't change a thing.
So many people have asked about Jake's story and I have been able to share not only his story but God's sustaining power through a difficult situation.
We have met and worked with some outstanding people throughout the last few months.
But one thing I have now is sympathy. I know what it is like to have a child that needs special care. I know the exhausting days. I know the long scary nights. I have walked that road. I have lived the uncertainty.
We both know what it is like to sit in the chair and be the parent rather than the doctor. It has made Blake a better doctor. He has always been kind and compassionate but I see something more. I see a look of "been there done that."
I know how it feels when people look at you in shock and pity. And yes I know and 100% fully understand what the "dignity" of life is all about. I know the joys of parenting a child with needs and watching as small changes are made. I know the surprise that comes from waking up one day and seeing your child make a huge step in maturity.
I know what it is like to hold a child and love that child unconditionally regardless of the issues at hand or the issues you will face. I know what it is like to see a big smile and be so proud of your kid! I know what it is like to have a few stolen moments in the middle of a dark night. Nothing is sweeter than having him up against me and feel his chest rise and fall with his breathing.
Am I angry with God? No way. I am thankful for this experience. I wish my guy hadn't had all this happen to him but I am so thankful God was able to keep him safe and bring him to us.
When I see Marvin and Jake wrestling on the floor and hear the laughter I can only smile. Each one of our children have been touched by his little life.
He is a fighter. God has give him the strength to go on and survive. He has a special story that brings hope to those who hear it. He has a special plan. At this time only God knows what it is. I can't wait to see how it grows over the years.
My answer is a flat NO.
It is true that Jake has had his fair share, and then some, of troubles. But when I look at him, the situation that surrounded his homecoming and God's divine work I can only praise Him for what He has done.
Was I angry with the people involved? YOU BET. Am I working to correct it? YOU BETCHA. I don't want anyone to go through what we have been through unless they are fully aware of the situation.
Now would we have changed our minds if we knew about Jake's problems? No. God gave us him and he was our son long before we went to pick him up. We would have liked to have had more time to plan.
I have learned a "game plan" is not always needed when we let the Master hold the map our of lives. ---- HUGE, HUGE lesson for me to learn!
God's strength and His assurance that Jake was our son is what got us through.
Blake and I were talking last night about this. Jake was wound and wouldn't sleep at all until about midnight and we watched him romp around our bedroom.
God gave us Jake. People got in the way for His will for us and Jake. But in the end God's perfect will always wins out.
Have the last eight months been hard? Incredibly and I am not naive. I know there are many rough spots still to come. But I stand firm that God will see us through.
I would not trade a minute of our time together.
I would much rather our son did not have to suffer all that has come his way. I would much rather we would have met under better circumstances and his homecoming not be filled with uncertainty.
But if it meant in any way we would have missed out on the blessings, strength and love the Lord provided our family and those around us, I wouldn't change a thing.
So many people have asked about Jake's story and I have been able to share not only his story but God's sustaining power through a difficult situation.
We have met and worked with some outstanding people throughout the last few months.
But one thing I have now is sympathy. I know what it is like to have a child that needs special care. I know the exhausting days. I know the long scary nights. I have walked that road. I have lived the uncertainty.
We both know what it is like to sit in the chair and be the parent rather than the doctor. It has made Blake a better doctor. He has always been kind and compassionate but I see something more. I see a look of "been there done that."
I know how it feels when people look at you in shock and pity. And yes I know and 100% fully understand what the "dignity" of life is all about. I know the joys of parenting a child with needs and watching as small changes are made. I know the surprise that comes from waking up one day and seeing your child make a huge step in maturity.
I know what it is like to hold a child and love that child unconditionally regardless of the issues at hand or the issues you will face. I know what it is like to see a big smile and be so proud of your kid! I know what it is like to have a few stolen moments in the middle of a dark night. Nothing is sweeter than having him up against me and feel his chest rise and fall with his breathing.
Am I angry with God? No way. I am thankful for this experience. I wish my guy hadn't had all this happen to him but I am so thankful God was able to keep him safe and bring him to us.
When I see Marvin and Jake wrestling on the floor and hear the laughter I can only smile. Each one of our children have been touched by his little life.
He is a fighter. God has give him the strength to go on and survive. He has a special story that brings hope to those who hear it. He has a special plan. At this time only God knows what it is. I can't wait to see how it grows over the years.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to bring you hope and a future."
We have plans for our six children. We have hopes and dreams. But most of all we know God has plans for them. His plans are so much better than our plans could ever hope to be.
WE ARE SO BUSY!
Things around here are soooo busy.
Yesterday Jake saw the surgeon who was very pleased with his eyes. She couldn't get over how aligned his eyes were.
He is walking much better and we are seeing very positive changes in him.
He absolutely loves Dr. McGregor and so do we!
We are also trying to get this graduation thing under way. I am still fighting it for my own selfish reasons but Ann will be graduating June 7. Where has the time gone? My first littlest one will be 18 in October. It sure doesn't seem possible.
Ann and Anabeli went to Columbus this morning to look around for a girl's day. Anabeli was beside herself with excitement. She could hardly stand still for me to brush her hair. They will be eating at their favorite place, Chipolte for lunch.
Sunday there was a "bag" coupon for a free burrito in the paper. They have waited all week to use it.
Blake decided we need a spring break, even though two weeks ago we didn't. YEAH We are going near Destin FL and renting a house there for the week.
We leave one week from today so I am rushing around. The only major things I need to do is get the two younger boys hair cuts and get sandals for the three little ones. We are off to Wal Mart in just a few.
I have lots of pictures to post and I will try and get to that this weekend.
Yesterday Jake saw the surgeon who was very pleased with his eyes. She couldn't get over how aligned his eyes were.
He is walking much better and we are seeing very positive changes in him.
He absolutely loves Dr. McGregor and so do we!
We are also trying to get this graduation thing under way. I am still fighting it for my own selfish reasons but Ann will be graduating June 7. Where has the time gone? My first littlest one will be 18 in October. It sure doesn't seem possible.
Ann and Anabeli went to Columbus this morning to look around for a girl's day. Anabeli was beside herself with excitement. She could hardly stand still for me to brush her hair. They will be eating at their favorite place, Chipolte for lunch.
Sunday there was a "bag" coupon for a free burrito in the paper. They have waited all week to use it.
Blake decided we need a spring break, even though two weeks ago we didn't. YEAH We are going near Destin FL and renting a house there for the week.
We leave one week from today so I am rushing around. The only major things I need to do is get the two younger boys hair cuts and get sandals for the three little ones. We are off to Wal Mart in just a few.
I have lots of pictures to post and I will try and get to that this weekend.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
CHECK THIS OUT
If you don't usually read the comments, you NEED to read the one by Phyllis under Grouchy.
I cracked up. So very funny.
It did give me an idea on where to put the stuff. Nothing like getting to school and opening you book bag to find trash and a pair of dirty socks or undies???????
You never know what will happen when mommy gets grouchy.
I cracked up. So very funny.
It did give me an idea on where to put the stuff. Nothing like getting to school and opening you book bag to find trash and a pair of dirty socks or undies???????
You never know what will happen when mommy gets grouchy.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
YOU ARE GROUCHY TODAY
Time for a keeping it real post.
The two older boys are on my last nerve.
Yeah I am grouchy today! Could it possibly be that I am sick and tired of spending time cleaning up messes that they have "already" cleaned up?
Now Jesse didn't think I heard him complaining as he walked away but he was wrong! You think I was grouchy then? Hang on to your hat boy!
So it required lots of "lessons" while he helped me clean up.
You put the knife and plate in the sink, throw away the package, put the bread away and put the mayo in the fridge when you make a tuna sandwich.
When you are done with the Sunday comics you put the paper in the recycling bin. You don't throw it on the table.
This one amazes me---- When you change Jake's wet diaper you do secure it BUT you don't toss it at the trash can and HOPE it makes it in.
After bringing your laundry down stairs you do not just toss it in the closet. See the six (I know I am weird) baskets? Sort it.
Put your bookbag by the back door when you finish your homework.
Put your calculator back in your bookbag. You might need it tomorrow at school. You might want to put your homework in there too. DUH.
When you sweep the garage (one of his weekly chores) you put the broom back where it belongs.
Sweeping the kitchen floor does require moving the chairs out.
I thought this was all just something if you are 15.5 or 12.5 you should know.
Unfortunately once again the phrase, "Give me the cell phone" was heard again.
The two older boys are on my last nerve.
Yeah I am grouchy today! Could it possibly be that I am sick and tired of spending time cleaning up messes that they have "already" cleaned up?
Now Jesse didn't think I heard him complaining as he walked away but he was wrong! You think I was grouchy then? Hang on to your hat boy!
So it required lots of "lessons" while he helped me clean up.
You put the knife and plate in the sink, throw away the package, put the bread away and put the mayo in the fridge when you make a tuna sandwich.
When you are done with the Sunday comics you put the paper in the recycling bin. You don't throw it on the table.
This one amazes me---- When you change Jake's wet diaper you do secure it BUT you don't toss it at the trash can and HOPE it makes it in.
After bringing your laundry down stairs you do not just toss it in the closet. See the six (I know I am weird) baskets? Sort it.
Put your bookbag by the back door when you finish your homework.
Put your calculator back in your bookbag. You might need it tomorrow at school. You might want to put your homework in there too. DUH.
When you sweep the garage (one of his weekly chores) you put the broom back where it belongs.
Sweeping the kitchen floor does require moving the chairs out.
I thought this was all just something if you are 15.5 or 12.5 you should know.
Unfortunately once again the phrase, "Give me the cell phone" was heard again.
Friday, March 6, 2009
DISOBEDIENCE
Well where do I begin?
When our children are disobedient we punish them. Lately though with the older ones we have been letting the disobedience punish on its own.
You know what I am talking about. You didn't listen, you did this and now that this has happened you will pay the consequences.
Unfortunately today it was MY time to pay up. I guess in my heart I didn't consider what I was doing as disobedience until I was praying while driving to the grocery store. We can rationalize anything if we try hard enough.
Since Jake has had his eyes fixedc we have seen miraculous changes. More on this in tomorrow's post. On the down side, with the extra confidence comes extra impulse. Sam was also this way. He is so much like Sam except they were 10 years apart.
Today was "rescue me" day. He jumped off some steps today and didn't have a smooth landing. He tried to climb out of the bathtub and hurt his leg. He has a bruise on his chin from running too fast. He had to have a bath because he was covered in my iced tea due to a break down and going limp.
None of this would have happened a week ago people. I am so happy. You have no idea. I didn't know I could be this happy over these type of problems.
The one thing that has come to roost was I am 10 years older than I was with a two year old Sam. This is hard work. Impulsiveness with Sam was hard to deal with. You need to watch impulsive children closer.
So today I was praying while we were running errands. I was thanking God for the huge improvement in Jake. In 7 months we have gone from a lump of child to a sweet walking boy. I was also expressing to God my concerns. I am 10 years older. I have more kids. I am tired easier. on and on.
When I stopped talking God just poured it on.
You have put yourself in this situation.
Excuse me????? We asked YOU about adopting. We prayed for guidance. Why is this my fault?
You aren't listening.
Yes I am.
No you are not and now you will pay for it.
Um I think I don't understand.
Remember back over a year ago when I laid it upon your heart to lose weight? Remember the struggle you gave? Remember when you always had an excuse?
OK My first response was no I didn't?
But then many times I made an excuse came to mind.
1- I will lose weight after I get through the home study visit and the dossier. You know I eat when I am nervous.
2- I am going to Hawaii. Can't this wait until I get back?
3- As soon as we go into PGN I will start. PGN is stressful.
4 How can you expect I will be able to lose weight and keep it off through the holidays?
5- PGN kicked us out. I promise I will do something when we get this all done.
6- I am trying YOU aren't helping. (So I lied too.)
7- I can't possibly lose weight on a cruise.
8- Lord. Jake is a mess. This is gonna be really hard. Help me and please give me a break on the eating,
9- One month ago- Yeah Yeah. Can we wait until it is warm enough for me to walk outside for exercise?
TODAY- Lord why am I so tired?
He was so blunt.
Because you are too fat. We could have corrected this but you weren't willing. Now you must face the consequences.
Yes Lord I understand and starting right now I plan on doing something about this.
Right now I am giving it all back to you. Right now this minute I am going to trust you for the help I need.
So disobedience is not good. At the time, disobedience was not what I had in mind. I was just trying to delay things until they were convenient.
Now I see my convenience caused me to disobey. The same thing I tell me kids.
DISOBEDIENCE IS NOTHING MORE THAN NOT FULLY TRUSTING GOD TO HANDLE OUR LIVES. IT CAN ONLY OCCUR WHEN WE PUT OUR OWN THOUGHTS, OPINIONS AND ATTITUDES BEFORE OUR GOD.
Ugg. It is a good thing God loves us enough to help us get up when we fall and start again. I am willing to follow and do what I should have done a year ago. But the sad thing is I wasted a year of healthy living and peace that comes from complete obedience.
When our children are disobedient we punish them. Lately though with the older ones we have been letting the disobedience punish on its own.
You know what I am talking about. You didn't listen, you did this and now that this has happened you will pay the consequences.
Unfortunately today it was MY time to pay up. I guess in my heart I didn't consider what I was doing as disobedience until I was praying while driving to the grocery store. We can rationalize anything if we try hard enough.
Since Jake has had his eyes fixedc we have seen miraculous changes. More on this in tomorrow's post. On the down side, with the extra confidence comes extra impulse. Sam was also this way. He is so much like Sam except they were 10 years apart.
Today was "rescue me" day. He jumped off some steps today and didn't have a smooth landing. He tried to climb out of the bathtub and hurt his leg. He has a bruise on his chin from running too fast. He had to have a bath because he was covered in my iced tea due to a break down and going limp.
None of this would have happened a week ago people. I am so happy. You have no idea. I didn't know I could be this happy over these type of problems.
The one thing that has come to roost was I am 10 years older than I was with a two year old Sam. This is hard work. Impulsiveness with Sam was hard to deal with. You need to watch impulsive children closer.
So today I was praying while we were running errands. I was thanking God for the huge improvement in Jake. In 7 months we have gone from a lump of child to a sweet walking boy. I was also expressing to God my concerns. I am 10 years older. I have more kids. I am tired easier. on and on.
When I stopped talking God just poured it on.
You have put yourself in this situation.
Excuse me????? We asked YOU about adopting. We prayed for guidance. Why is this my fault?
You aren't listening.
Yes I am.
No you are not and now you will pay for it.
Um I think I don't understand.
Remember back over a year ago when I laid it upon your heart to lose weight? Remember the struggle you gave? Remember when you always had an excuse?
OK My first response was no I didn't?
But then many times I made an excuse came to mind.
1- I will lose weight after I get through the home study visit and the dossier. You know I eat when I am nervous.
2- I am going to Hawaii. Can't this wait until I get back?
3- As soon as we go into PGN I will start. PGN is stressful.
4 How can you expect I will be able to lose weight and keep it off through the holidays?
5- PGN kicked us out. I promise I will do something when we get this all done.
6- I am trying YOU aren't helping. (So I lied too.)
7- I can't possibly lose weight on a cruise.
8- Lord. Jake is a mess. This is gonna be really hard. Help me and please give me a break on the eating,
9- One month ago- Yeah Yeah. Can we wait until it is warm enough for me to walk outside for exercise?
TODAY- Lord why am I so tired?
He was so blunt.
Because you are too fat. We could have corrected this but you weren't willing. Now you must face the consequences.
Yes Lord I understand and starting right now I plan on doing something about this.
Right now I am giving it all back to you. Right now this minute I am going to trust you for the help I need.
So disobedience is not good. At the time, disobedience was not what I had in mind. I was just trying to delay things until they were convenient.
Now I see my convenience caused me to disobey. The same thing I tell me kids.
DISOBEDIENCE IS NOTHING MORE THAN NOT FULLY TRUSTING GOD TO HANDLE OUR LIVES. IT CAN ONLY OCCUR WHEN WE PUT OUR OWN THOUGHTS, OPINIONS AND ATTITUDES BEFORE OUR GOD.
Ugg. It is a good thing God loves us enough to help us get up when we fall and start again. I am willing to follow and do what I should have done a year ago. But the sad thing is I wasted a year of healthy living and peace that comes from complete obedience.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
ABBY
Blake just received a call and had to go to the hospital for an emergency. I took the call and it doesn't sound good.
It made me think of Abby. She has been in my prayers all day long.
Please take the time to pray for her, Brent and Michelle and the sibilings too. They need our prayers more than ever.
WORD OF THE DAY
YUCK.
I am not sure when this word even came into play. " Who taught Jacob how to say yuck?" Marvin says Bell did it. Bell says "Marvin you mean. Mommy I didn't. Yuck is a bad word."
Yuck has been the answer for EVERYTHING.
Do you want to share an apple with mommy? Babble (his version of apple) yuck.
Will you let Annie hold you? Nanny yuck.
Let's wash your hands. Bath yuck.
I didn't say bath. I said let's wash your hands. NO Yuck.
Mommy needs to start the washer. Yuck. (I agree with this one)
Please don't touch the dog. Your hands will get dirty. You can't get your hands near your eyes if they are dirty. Dog yuck. Dirty yuck.
Please don't hit your sister. Bell Bell yuck.
Let me wash your eyes. Ear yuck (Little confused in body parts still.)
Open that door and don't close it again. Mommy yuck. Mommy yuck. Mommy yuck.
Yep. It might be a yucky day for some of us.
Man I love this kid.
I am not sure when this word even came into play. " Who taught Jacob how to say yuck?" Marvin says Bell did it. Bell says "Marvin you mean. Mommy I didn't. Yuck is a bad word."
Yuck has been the answer for EVERYTHING.
Do you want to share an apple with mommy? Babble (his version of apple) yuck.
Will you let Annie hold you? Nanny yuck.
Let's wash your hands. Bath yuck.
I didn't say bath. I said let's wash your hands. NO Yuck.
Mommy needs to start the washer. Yuck. (I agree with this one)
Please don't touch the dog. Your hands will get dirty. You can't get your hands near your eyes if they are dirty. Dog yuck. Dirty yuck.
Please don't hit your sister. Bell Bell yuck.
Let me wash your eyes. Ear yuck (Little confused in body parts still.)
Open that door and don't close it again. Mommy yuck. Mommy yuck. Mommy yuck.
Yep. It might be a yucky day for some of us.
Man I love this kid.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Red Eyes
Marvin right before bed.
"Mooooommmmmm. Somebody colored around Jake's eyes with your red marker. It wasn't me. Must have been Bell Bell. Is she in trouble?"
This came from upstairs while I was straightening up at bedtime.
This kid is so clueless it is funny.
You have got to love the way his brain thinks.
"Mooooommmmmm. Somebody colored around Jake's eyes with your red marker. It wasn't me. Must have been Bell Bell. Is she in trouble?"
This came from upstairs while I was straightening up at bedtime.
This kid is so clueless it is funny.
You have got to love the way his brain thinks.
WE ARE HOME!
Thanks for the prayers Phyllis.
Well I am not sure where to begin. Things are dramatically different.
We have been home about an hour now and Jake is going non stop. It is hard to believe this kid just came out of surgery!
Blake and I believe we see a major difference already in his walking. He is running around and can now turn on one foot with the other up in the air! The Frankenstein walk is disappearing somewhat. He is bending at the knees and he is more erect.
I can't believe the difference. My opinion, for what it is worth, was that he would be slightly tipsy and maybe falling more as he adjusts to his new vision.
NEVER did I expect him to be running around and laughing five hours after surgery.
What is so amazing is how quickly we have seen results. Laurie and I set up goals a few weeks ago and my goal was to have him falling less, about five times an hour as opposed to 20 or so. He is already there and probably exceeding it.
Praise God for all His wonderful miracles in my littlest angel. He has truly performed so many miracles in this guy.
I will post some presurgery pictures tomorrow. Right now I am worn out. We had high winds last night and the little ones didn't sleep well. Jake ended up spending most of night in our bed kicking and wiggling. :)
Well I am not sure where to begin. Things are dramatically different.
We have been home about an hour now and Jake is going non stop. It is hard to believe this kid just came out of surgery!
Blake and I believe we see a major difference already in his walking. He is running around and can now turn on one foot with the other up in the air! The Frankenstein walk is disappearing somewhat. He is bending at the knees and he is more erect.
I can't believe the difference. My opinion, for what it is worth, was that he would be slightly tipsy and maybe falling more as he adjusts to his new vision.
NEVER did I expect him to be running around and laughing five hours after surgery.
What is so amazing is how quickly we have seen results. Laurie and I set up goals a few weeks ago and my goal was to have him falling less, about five times an hour as opposed to 20 or so. He is already there and probably exceeding it.
Praise God for all His wonderful miracles in my littlest angel. He has truly performed so many miracles in this guy.
I will post some presurgery pictures tomorrow. Right now I am worn out. We had high winds last night and the little ones didn't sleep well. Jake ended up spending most of night in our bed kicking and wiggling. :)
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