Wednesday, February 27, 2008

COLD, COLD, COLD

Oh my word it is so cold here. I have on a long sleeve t shirt and a polar fleece shirt and I am still shaking.
The temperature is 18 but it is so damp. It has snowed off and on for two days now.
Now I try not to complain too much in the winter of the cold because I whine about the heat all summer.
I cannot warm up this year. We have more snow coming in tomorrow night and I am already dressed like a polar bear.
Even M and A had on extra socks and shirts today. I keep reminding myself in July I will be hot, sweaty, cranky and all around miserable so I should just enjoy this but enough is enough.
It will be March in two days and there is no end in sight of warmer weather.
Today we went grocery shopping. It was a snow day because of last night's blowing and drifting so Jesse went too. I dropped everyone off at the front door and found a spot.
God was good to me and someone came out of the first spot closest to the building. I did look around for an older person who could use it but it seemed I was the only one in the parking lot.
It is amazing how God gives us just these little pick me ups occasionally. Not the big things but the little things you have to examine really close to see God working and how much He loves you.
When we came out the wind was blowing and A said, "Mommy my runnies are cold in my nose."
Interesting way to put it.
A lot of people received PGN outs today so we are waiting our turn. Blake keeps reminding me it is like spring in Guatemala and we will be there in about six weeks if we get out soon.
Anyway as you can see, not alot going on except God letting me have a pick-me-up today. That is so cool when little things happen to me like that. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Today I needed to be warm and fuzzy inside and out! :)

Monday, February 25, 2008

PLEASED TO INTRODUCE LIL B

LITTLE B
Mom- Don't panic!!!! Please read on.....

This is little B. He is sort of a K but sort of not. Little B is caught in this whole Guatemala mess. He cannot be given a set of parents because referrals have stopped. So poor little guy is just waiting.
He is so gorgeous. I love his fat little cheeks and big smile. The jean jackets give him a rough and tumble look but you can tell he is a cuddler.
He is at the Eagle's Nest- Marvin's former home. In an effort to give back to the country and hogar that loved our baby boy so much we have decided to take on B while he is waiting on a home.
Eagle's Nest is an orphange dependent upon missionaries Larry and Claire Boggs.
Even though adoptions in Guatemala are closed, many children are still filtering in needing homes. It costs money to feed, clothe and diaper a child.
We have agreed to make sure B is taken care of while he waits for his new home. So in effect he is a K for a while. We are his wedge between the system and a new set of parents. What a great feeling it is to know we are helping this little sweetie for a while.
Grow strong B- Your mommy and daddy are coming soon. Until then we will provide for you just as God provides for us.

ONE WORD

A friend tagged me. The only rule is one word answers. This is really hard!

1. Where is your cell phone? car
2. Your significant other? husband
3. Your hair? brown
4 . Your mother? Loving
5. Your father? Caring
6. Your favorite thing? children
7. Your dream last night? Marriage
8. Your favorite drink? coke
9. Your dream/goal? life
10. The room you're in? office
11. Your ex? None
12. Your fear? drowning
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? here
14. Where were you last night? home
15. What you're not? patience
16. Muffins poppyseed
17. One of your wish list items? kitchen
18. Where you grew up? Indiana
19. The last thing you did? Laundry
20. What are you wearing? jeans
21. Your TV? Foxnews
22. Your pets? Three
23. Your computer? Cool
24. Your life? perfect
25. Your mood? antsy
26. Missing someone? Jake
27 Your car? New
28 .Something you're not wearing? ring
29. Favorite Store Coach30. Your summer? swimming
31. Like someone? Yes32. Your favorite color? Green
33. When is the last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? forgot

FREEZING FOG???

Our woods is always beautiful but Sunday it was just shimmering.

We got up yesterday for church and it was so foggy you couldn't see more than 10 feet out the window.
Really strange fog too. It was very dense and crystalizing.
Blake said it was freezing fog. As soon as we got home from church I took a few pictures. It was beautiful. Just another way God shows us how majestic our world really is.



If you look really close at the end of each leaf there are little ice balls. It is so beautiful.


When you touch it the fog just immediately melts. It is beautiful but fragile.


Thursday, February 21, 2008

BE MY BABY

I am feeling very sentimental today. I can't help but think of when Annie was a baby as I await news that Jake it out of PGN and has our last name.
I am really not into the music my kids are listening to. I do check it for lyrics that aren't bad but other than that I don't pay attention.
Ann has had a song by "The Fray" on as her ringtone for quite some time now. It is "Look After You". I hear it about 10 times a day as I check in with her.
I remembering listening to it a lot when it was popular in the summer because she plays her music loud enough for EVERYONE in a five mile radius to here.
A few weeks ago though I heard it on the radio and it made me think. Not all of the words are special but some of them deal with how I feel about my kids, all six of them.

Be my baby I'll look after you. Isn't that what being a mom is all about? Looking after a helpless child, a curious toddler, a stubborn youth, an obnoxious teenager and finally an adult child; as they grow your love changes to meet their needs.

I like when it talks about losing control as the world spins around us. Being with our families should be the comfort we need to calm our spirits and help us slow down.

"It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own"

This is the verse that means the most to me. Before children Blake and I were so wrapped up in our lives. But 11 months after we were married everything and every part of our lives became about this baby girl.

You've begun to feel like home is my favorite line in the whole song. With each of my kids when you walked through the door with them for the first time it just felt right. It felt complete and whole. It felt like home.

I remember that feeling very intensely with Ann beacause she was our first. The moment I walked into our home it was different. I was this child's mom. She needed me and I needed to look after her. She and then all of her siblings became my life. It just felt like a home.

Now there is laughter, happiness, growth, love and occasinally sadness but that is what home is. A place were raw emotion runs freely. A place where fierce loyalty to each other bonds us and gives us a chance to grow.

Then finally why "What's mine is yours to leave or take. What's mine is yours to make your own."

We give our children everything possible. We would also give everything we have in a heartbeat to save and protect our child. What's mine is yours, all of it, the material things, the unconditional love, the expectations, the goals, the dreams and hopes. Sometimes without meaning to we also give them the worst of it. Thank God for forgiveness.

Lately I think of this song in the context of Jake. We are going to go to Gautemala in God's timing and we are going to meet this little boy for the first time. Naturally he will be scared and we will do anything to make him feel comforted. We want to feel like home to him.

After all, isn't that the purpose in giving birth or adopting? We want our children to feel safe and loved and cared for. We want them to feel at home in our hearts.

I love you Annie, Jesse, Sam, Marvin, Bell Bell and Jake. You are what home is to me.


"Look After You"
If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, ohOh, oh, oh
I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

WASH DAY

Monday Wash Day
Lord, help me wash away all my selfishness and vanity, so I may serve you with perfect humility through the week ahead.
Tuesday Ironing Day
Dear Lord, help me iron out all the wrinkles Of prejudice I have collected through the years so that I may see the beauty in others.
Wednesday Mending Day
O God, help me mend my ways so I will not Set a bad example for others.
Thursday Cleaning Day
Lord Jesus, help me to dust out all the many faults I have been hiding in the secret corners of my heart.
Friday Shopping Day
O God, give me the grace to shop wisely so I may purchase eternal happiness for myself and all others in need of love.
Saturday Cooking Day
Help me, my Savior, to brew a big kettle of brotherly love and serve it with clean, sweet bread of human kindness.
Sunday The Lord's Day
O God, I have prepared my house for you. Please come into my heart so I may spend the day and the rest of my life in your presence.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

WARNING- VENTING AHEAD

Today I am really disgusted.
Are we in PGN or not??? I can't get an answer to this simple question.
We were one of 3,000 cases with CA stamp (whatever that means) and on our way to PGN.
PGN says we aren't there. Why? Supposedly another kick out BUT my source says that isn't really true because they can't find out file. It hasn't been released to our attorney and they believe it is on a reviewer's desk. HUH?
Is it there or not???
Why is Guatemala so dang hard to get along with??? It is not that hard.
You either have the file, our attorney has it or it has not been submitted yet.
Our attorney has been very good about getting things done so I really do not believe he has the file. It is lost in the dark hole of PGN.
Right now I am waiting on information from our agency as to the status.
It amazes me how disorganized this mess has been. Even the US Department of State could do better, I think.

Remember when in Exodus where Moses went to Pharoah and said, "Let my people go?"
I feel like Moses, "Let my Jacob go." PGN is my personal Egypt. Arriving at home with son in hand is my Canaan land.

Great analogy but I just remembered Moses wasn't allowed to enter into Canaan because of his temper and disobedience. YIKES. Better rethink the attitude.

So that is my rant for the day.

FUN AT THE MALL

Late yesterday afternoon I took the kids to the mall to play in the play center. They had so much fun. We stayed about an hour and a half and M and A were able to get rid of a lot of extra energy.



Anabeli is happy just to be free and able to run and jump.



Marvin the Spiderman shooting webs


I am going to be a model some day.



FUNNY FACES

Monday, February 18, 2008

MARVIN'S HAIRCUT



Remember the night of the fall when my pride was hurt more than anything else?
Marvin did not want to get his haircut at all. As you can see by the pictures he didn't enjoy his outing. He was afraid it would hurt to get his hair cut. I guess it has been a little too long between cuts.
Luckily we have a great barber that has cut Jesse, Sam and Marvin's hair for years.






CHEERLEADING

I finally found the camera. It was in the very bottom of my purse (the almost bottomless pit).
So here are the pictures from the girl's cheerleading debut.



Maggie cheering.

Allison prepares for the dance part of the routine. She did a great job and was a really good dancer.

I think it won't be long until they will be the "real" cheerleaders performing at half time games.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

CAMERA???

I cannot find my camera. I thought it was in my purse from last week but now it is gone.

Hopefully it didn't fall out of my purse somewhere.

As soon as I find it I will post some pictures.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

SORRY I AM LATE

Sorry but updating has been hard the last few days. I will get some pictures loaded on Sunday but we are off for an adult dinner with friends. It has been a while and I am hoping I can think of an interesting topic that does not include Blue's Clues, Dora or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
Last night Blake and I went out after the little ones were in bed for a celebration. We were gone about 1.5 hours and went to a new restaurant in town. The food was delicious but the celebration was even better.
On February 15, 1990 Blake asked me to marry him. He remembered and took me out for dinner even with a kidney stone that might be on the move. It was very sweet.
We talked about 18 years ago and the present. Who would have guessed we would have 6 kids, three dogs and all the fun things that goes with six kids? But I wouldn't trade a moment of it. It has been a great ride so far and I can't wait to see what is around the next bend.

Blake, even after 18 years you are still my best friend. I love you and can't imagine my life without you. God has given us some interesting twists and turns and there have never been a dull moment. I thank God for our paths crossing 23 years ago and the honor of being your wife 17 years ago.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH...

When I was younger my parents would say to me sometimes, "I love you too much to let you mess up your life." That statement would make me so mad.
Now that I am a parent I understand.
Love isn't always about doing the popular thing; it is about doing the right thing.
Love isn't always about sometimes caring; it is about caring all the time.
Love is the greatest human emotion but is also the emotion that causes us the most pain.
Love will make us walk to the ends of the earth for a child but keep us from driving a child across town if we feel it is not a good place to be.
Love doesn't cover up a spouse's irritating behavior, it helps us to see beyond it and see the person we care deeply about.
Love makes us get up at night with a crying baby or stay up all night crying about a teenager who has taken the wrong path.
Love helps us to make the best of a not so good situation for our family.
Love gives us courage to stand up for what we believe in.
Love gives us the strength to go on when we think all of our strength is gone.

Before Blake and I were married we went to my grandparents home for the weekend. My grandmother has since passed away but her words still ring true.
As we were leaving she asked, "Do you really love him?"
I answered honestly, "More than anything."
Her words were wise, "Then you two will be fine as long as you remember how much you love each other."

If I had to do it all over again and walk the same road I have walked for the past 17 years would I be willing to go through all the heartache, bad days, bad nights, long days and nights, worrying about children, about each other and disagreements?

The answer is YES. Our love has grown stronger. Our love has brought three children into this world and added three more to our family. Our love has helped us grown as a family. Our love has been the one constant in a changing world.

Grandma was right. As long as you remember how much you love each other you can't go wrong.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

HAPPY 3rd GOTCHA DAY



Today is my guy's gotcha day.

It seems like only yesterday I walked into the Marriott in Guatemala in shock of the country I was in and scared to death of meeting OUR son for the first time.

At the time it seemed so odd to call Marvin our son. We had not met him or touched him. I was dying to kiss his little hands and cheeks. I wanted so much to learn about my sweetie. I wanted to hear his giggle, his squeals, even his cry.
The moment I walked into the Marriott I thought I would hyperventilate while I looked for the "red couch". Seems like there were at least 10 in my view and none with my little guy.

I heard someone call my name and turned around. At that same moment Claire said "Marvin this is your mommy. Mommy this is Marvin." and place him in my arms.

That particular moment changed my life forever. I understood how one could fall totally in love with a child in an instant without giving birth. I understood the desire to protect and care for this child. I knew what it was like to love a mother I had yet to meet and want nothing more than to thank her for this beautiful boy.

Emotions were so overwhelming. Even thinking about that day now causes me to cry.

Marvin was and is our son. God gave him to us in a little different way but he was still out boy. I loved him as much at that moment as I did the three children home in Ohio.

Blake was unable to go with me and my father went. As we sat at supper that night and I held him I was so proud. He was the most gorgeous child in the restaurant and he was a K.


As I have watch him grow I see so much of his daddy in him. He acts so much like Blake it is hard to believe. He loves his daddy and wants to be like him.

His grandpa was just as proud as he held him tight that night.


I will always remember our first night together. I just sat and stared while he was sleeping. Several times I got up just to make sure he was all right. As he was sound asleep I watched his chest raise up and down.
As I stood in the US Embassy and promised to love and care for him I was in awe of him.

My life would never be the same.




Thank you God for sending this beautiful boy to our lives. Only You know how much he has changed all of us.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

SOOOOO UNHAPPY

I am so unhappy tonight. I told you things happen to me that most people can go a whole lifetime and not worry about.
Tonight I fell on some ice. Not a huge fall just a jar mostly, right on my rear end. It was so embarrassing.
It was a on busy street with lots of cars waiting on a red light. To make it worse it took me a few seconds to fall because I tried to save myself. Why do you do that when you know you are going to fall?
Thank God I wasn't carrying Marvin. We had come out of the barber shop and I had him walk just to be on the safe side.
No kidding we were in there maybe 20 minutes and what was water when we went in was ice when we came out, a thin film of ice but still ice.
So I fell and got the whole back of my jeans wet. I was holding Marvin's hand when I fell and was worried about him so I was half turned around when I fell.
My hand hit the ground and now I ache.
For those of you that don't know 3 1/2 years ago while I was waiting on that PGN round I fell off a chair and broke my elbow and thumb, damaged my wrist and pulled my shoulder out of socket. I also have a torn rotator cuff on that side because I haven't had time to repair the damage with surgery. Like I am going to put myself in pain and a cast for three months. NOT!!!Most of the time I do just fine but occasionally I do something stupid like tonight and it hurts.
My shoulder, arm and neck really hurt but I took an Aleve and feel much better. By tomorrow afternoon everything should be back to normal.
But nothing can take away the embarrassment of knowing people watched me fall and probably laughed.
The reason I know they laughed dates back many years. My sister, Sandra, and my mother were in a grocery parking lot and I was getting into the car.
This man with a nice cowboy hat and boots walked in front of the car and slipped on ice. He grabbed the front of our car to keep from falling.
Sandra laughed and laughed. She was also very loud and I am sure he heard her laughing as he held onto the front of the car for dear life. I might have laughed too.
Anyway, I know people laughed when they saw me fall. I am sure it was comical if you were watching it. Guess I made someone feel better. :)

NOTHING NEW

I haven't had a chance to post lately. I have lots of reasons but nothing really exciting.
We had a snow day today! I did get an extra hours sleep. YEAH. But then we had to get out in the cold and snow/rain mix for an orthodontist appointment and a dentist appointment.
Ann's teeth are fine. Sam, on the other hand, needs a mouthful of work that has an even larger price tag. (insert whimper) So we start that at the end of the month. Poor guy got the worse of both his mom and dad's mouths.
Now we are running to the barber for the boys.
I have also been asked to bring appliance information and any ideas or likes/dislikes to a meeting with the kitchen designer tomorrow. I have no clue at this point. UGH I have looked for a while on the internet but that is my homework for tonight.
Last night was office work. Tomorrow night? who knows????
I promise I will download pictures tomorrow. I have the cutest pictures of my nieces from the weekend. They were part of a cheerleading group that cheered at the high school basketball game. It was so cute.
Until tomorrow...
P.S. Amy I am still praying.

Monday, February 11, 2008

A THOUGHT FOR TODAY

A friend sent this to me today. I thought it was beautiful.

Whatever your cross, whatever your pain,
there will always be sunshine, after the rain....
Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall;
But God's always ready, to answer your call.....
He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
a word from His lips, can calm every fear...
Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish, by dawn's early light...
The Savior is waiting, somewhere above,
to give you His grace, and send you His love.

May God fill your day with blessings!!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

THIS KID'S KILLING ME


Anabeli is at it again. I was doing laundry today and she came to tell me she wanted to play V-Smile. So as I was working on that she says, "Mommy I want to be smart like daddy."

"I said, "Oh Bell Bell. That is sweet. You are very smart. Do you want to me smart like mommy too?"

"No just daddy cause he is really really smart."

"Am I really smart?"

"No you is just mommy."

AAAACCCCCHHHHH!


Saturday, February 9, 2008

BELL BELL'S TAKE ON OUR HOME

OK we have been working on names and addresses. I have got to say this is not going well with either child.
Marvin could care less. He knows his full name and doesn't care where he lives. I said "What if you get lost from mommy? How will you be able to tell the policeman where you live?"
"I won't get lost from you ever."
Who can argue with that?
Anabeli on the other hand has a different take on things. When she first came home her FM was calling her Nellie. I liked that. We gave her a new first name of Lena. It was Blake's grandmother's name.
We called her Lena before she came home. Marvin to this day still calls her "Nina" his way of saying Lena and won't call her anything else.
As you can see the child already had several names she could go by. Well when she was able to speak she told me very clearly she wanted to be called Bell Bell. Now definitely not what I would have picked. It doesn't even make sense to me. I have tried to convince her of another name but she wouldn't hear of it.
So we call the child Bell Bell. I wasn't even sure how to spell it correctly so we spell it like it sounds Bell Bell.
Anyway, we are working on names. Her name is Lena Anabeli K. Very simple I thought.
Today I asked her what her name was and she said, "I is Bell Bell K."
"No that is what you want to be called but you "real" name is Lena Anabeli K."
"I Bell Bell"
"Where do you live?"
She got the city and state right.
"What is your "real name" now?
She screams, "Bell Bell not K"
What???
"K is your last name."
"No it not. I only Bell Bell."
Your last name is K just like mommy, daddy, annie, jesse, sam, marvin and jake. That is our family name. "
This is where I confused her I think because I pushed my explanation too far.
"When mommy married daddy she became Cindi K. Each one of you have our last name K because daddy is the head of the family?"
"Bell Bell's head not like daddy's" (I think it was daddy's bald head that threw her off.)
"No that means daddy is the boss of our family."
She chuckles and says, "No he's not."
"Yes he is. We all listen to daddy."
"No he's not."
I should have just dropped it.
"Yes Bell he is. "
"NO he's not. Bell Bell and Annie is. We are the princesses.!"

Oh my word. I have got to keep that child away from her older sister :)

Friday, February 8, 2008

JAKE'S CASE IS MOVING

We just received notice that Jake's case is finally going to be moving along. YEAH.
This is the way I understood all this mess:
All cases are going to need to be registered by 2-12-08.
In the meantime they have also given each case a registration number (seems like this might be new today) that is required to get back in PGN.
So.... all the attornies are standing in line AGAIN to get registration numbers for the cases to allow everyone to go onto the next step. For us that step is back into PGN from our kick out.
The office has said they will be open Saturday and Sunday also to allow everyone to get reregistered with a number.
This is good news believe it or not. Lord knows all of us waiting could use it.
So here is what you can do:
1- Pray that the cases will all get registered and the final steps completed for us parents to bring home our children.

Also a very good friend of mine has two huge decisions that will be made on Tuesday (2-12-08). Amy is trusting God for the right choices in this decision. I am sure she would appreciate all of your prayers while she is waiting.

I didn't ask her if I could link her blog but I will next time I "talk" to her. Please pray for her family.

Thanks for all your prayers. This has been a trying time for us and will continue to be until Jake has come home.

REDUCE STRESS!

A friend sent this to me this morning. What a great way to reduce stress. Number 11 is my favorite.

CHRIST-LIKE WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS ... An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'
1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you Jesus.'
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before.


GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.
'If God is for us, who can be against us?' (Romans 8:31)

BUSY BUSY

I have been so busy that I forgot to update!
Yesterday was better than Wednesday. We are getting closer and closer to getting back in to PGN!
Anabeli learned her first lesson in physics yesterday or Wednesday, not sure which. She had a glass and did not understand the difference between glass and plastic and sat the glass down too hard and it shattered. She was pretty scared by it all but didn't get a scratch on her.
Seems like we are in for another cold spot for a while. It was warm for a while and it was nice but it is back to hats and mittens.
Other than that nothing new is going on here. Sorry to disappoint.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

HARD DAY

Today has been a hard day. I miss my little guy so much.
Anabeli asked today if "Jacob come home soon?" I said as soon as we can.
Tonight that answer isn't good enough.
Once again, I have done everything I can by filing out new forms, sending them back, etc. and I feel so helpless. It is that old control thing again.
We were told by our agency that Central Authority should be issuing our previso soon. Then we will be allowed back in PGN.
I am thankful for that but I am also worried. Everyone that has been kicked out since 1-1-07 is going back in the next few days. There will be so many files and all of them will need to be reviewed. I am concerned about how long this will take.
My biggest fear is facing a long stay again in PGN. The strength that I gained with Anabeli's long wait is trying to dwindle away.
My prayer tonight is that God will keep his hand on my little guy and all the other children caught up in this mess.

What is really amazing is as I have worried today God has reminded me of the verses below. Each one of these I have used when I taught Children's Church. We worked very hard at memorizing them about four years ago and God brought them back to me today.

I am giving my worries to God tonight. I am really tired and want a good night's sleep. Since He will be up all night I am sure He can handle them for me. :)



"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect." Psalm 18:32

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

LIFE'S QUILT

As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls.
Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life.
But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all.
I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened.
My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air.
Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise.
My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and wealth, and false accusations that took from me my world, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that

I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me. And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was.

I rose and slowly lift ed the combined squares of my life to the light. An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes.

Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, 'Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles.

Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you.'

May all our quilts be threadbare an d worn, allowing Christ to shine through!

God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'

TAGGED

So, here are the rules~The rules are to link the person who sent this and leave a comment on their blog so their readers can visit yours~Post the rules on your blog~Share 7 strange/weird facts about yourself~Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and link their blog~Let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

I was tagged by Vanessa http://mommyslilblessings.blogspot.com/

I am tagging http://thevoiceofadventure.blogspot.com/
http://buildingtheblocks.blogspot.com/
http://theshrumfamilyadventures.blogspot.com/
http://prayingthemhome.blogspot.com/
http://themourofamily.blogspot.com/2008_01_01_archive.html
http://middleeastcrazies.blogspot.com/
http://www.ryleeforlife.blogspot.com/

1- I am crazy about Lost. I have now managed to watch each season twice now. I can't wait until Thursday nights.

2- I am obsessed with cooking magazines which is really odd because I am not fond of cooking much. Although I am hoping the new kitchen helps with that.

3- I am terrified of big dogs and by big I mean anything larger than a cat. Thanks mom for helping me with this. When I was young my mother pushed me in front of a huge dog. She says it was by accident. :)

4- I think Blake is the smartest person in the world, seriously. He has his MD and is is board certified by three different specialty boards. He loves to watch Jeopardy and can usually get most answers right. But the thing I like most is he never makes me feel stupid. That is a big thing because I tend to talk and then think.

5- My kids think I am a horrible singer and even the little ones will beg me not to sing.

6- DH and I were married Dec. 8. For our first Christmas together he got me something very romantic- a pooper scopper for our dog. NO JOKE!

7- For some reason we are always late everywhere we go. I don't know why and I don't know how to stop it. We haven't always been this weird. I have tried to fight but it is such a losing battle. For this reason we very rarely ever get to sit together in church because we have to take the single and double seats that are left in the middle of the rows.

That's it for me.

Monday, February 4, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLIE AND LIBBIE

We had a birthday party Saturday night. Allie turned 10 on Sunday and Libbie turned 3 at the end of January.

It was definitely a celebration.


I was able to get some pictures but Marvin made it very clear he was not into having his picture taken. Oh well I tried.

Allie is such a beautiful young lady. She definitely has that preteen attitude. You know the one where girls are developing friendships and are discovering how cool it is to be almost a teenager. She is becoming a social butterfly just like her mom.

Libbie is THREE!!!

Brandon just checking things out.
Brandon's mommy and my little sister, Vickey.
Maggie taking pictures of her own. She is affectionally know as "Aggie" here. Marvin says, "Aggie is my flavorite."

2 OUT OF 3 KIDS HOME FROM SCHOOL

Well it looks like it is our turn again in this round robin of school viruses.
Jesse decided not to go today because of a headache. Poor guy is really sick. I am a little nervous and waking him about every hour.
He can't seem to stay awake and complains his head really hurts while he is awake. Blake was a little concerned too so I wake him up, have him move his head around, drink some water and then he can go back to sleep.
No fever, chills or any other symptoms. I am keeping a close eye on him today.

Ann called at 9:45 for me to come and get her. She has a headache also but seems to have sinus pressure and more of a cold with a slight fever. She said almost 100 kids were absent today from the high school they said on announcements. Plus kids were leaving to go home sick.
I haven't heard from Sam yet so I am just hoping he stays healthy.

Of course after a good night's sleep M and A are just running around and playing. They seem to be just fine and happy. Thanks goodness.

Friday, February 1, 2008

CAN YOU SLEEP WHEN THE WIND BLOWS?

Years ago, a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast.
He constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were
reluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic. They dreaded the
awful storms that raged across the Atlantic, wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops.
As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received
A steady stream of refusals.Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached
the farmer. "Are you a good farm hand?" the farmer asked him.
"Well, I can sleep when the wind blows," answered the little man. Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help,
Hired him. The little man worked well around the farm, busy from
dawn to dusk, and the farmer felt satisfied with the man's work.
Then one night the wind howled loudly in from offshore.
Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed
next door to the hired hand's sleeping quarters. He shook the
little man and yelled, "Get up! A storm is coming!
Tie things down before they blow away!"
The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, "No
sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows."Enraged by the response, the farmer was tempted to fire him on
the spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm.
To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had
been covered with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens
were in the coops, and the doors were barred.
The shutters were tightly secured. Everything was tied down.
Nothing could blow away. The farmer then understood what his
hired hand meant, so he returned to his bed to also sleep while
the wind blew.
When you're prepared, spiritually, mentally, and physically,
you have nothing to fear. Can you sleep when the
wind blows through your life?
The hired hand in the story was able to sleep because he
had secured the farm against the storm.
We secure ourselves against the storms of life by
grounding ourselves in the Word of God.
We don't need to understand, we just need to hold
His hand to have peace in the middle of storms.

WEATHER IS GOOD

We made it. Seems like those to the west of us got the worst.
We have a little ice but not much.
Schools are on a two hour delay. That is good. I picked up an extra hour and a half of sleep this morning!!! I am a new person.